Monday, 14 April 2014

Story Day; Fix My Fridge, Take My Number

If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen my recent picture with a potential title for my autobiography.
I was going through my many many old journals of lists and dreams and things I used to imagine and found this list. This was the first title, but the page was full. Often I'll say something and think how great a title that would be about my life. The thing about my life is that I could focus the story on so many different things, and the titles change with what my life story is about. "Am I Single Because I Wear Glasses?" is obviously the story of my life (for the most part) alone. On the other hand, "Jesus Take The Wheel- No, Seriously I'm Gonna Stay Here 'Til You Drop Me Off Where I'm Supposed To Be" is the story of my life working at Tim Horton's for 7 years until I got the dream job I have now. 

But today, I'll share with you a teaser from "27 Crushes.. and Counting" (or alternatively; "All My Crushes Are Married Now And I'm Still Asking My Mom What's For Dinner")

I know I'm not unlike others when I make up life stories for people passing by. Working at Tim Horton's before the job I have now, I had countless opportunities to work my imagination. Just a fun pastime to.. well, pass the time. You see someone for a second, and for the rest of the day you can imagine their lives. They're inspiration for something greater inside of you. 

I view a crush in the same sense as this. I enjoy having a crush - or even just a short interaction with someone gorgeous who will spark my imagination of "what could be". I get to make up a story of what our life would be like and more importantly; I control what he's really like. I like crushes because that's all they are. 100% of my crushes never could have or should have turned into anything more. It would have both ruined the magic and, probably my view on the guy. Especially considering crushes & attraction is almost purely physical. Turns out most guys are not Noah Calhoun.

Sometimes, when I meet a beautiful man, and I know I have no chance, I like to flatter him and be obviously attracted. In my mind, I guarantee you this plays out smoother than in real life. To be honest I'm much more Mia Thermopolis in the first half of the movie than the second. I can only fake it for about 30 minutes a day. 

When I worked at Tim Horton's we had a male model fix our fridges & A/C. Ok, he wasn't at all a male model, but he was like pro sports player turned cologne ad model good-looking. Really tall, dark hair, excellent features, fit, but not super muscular... yeah, strictly physical. 

I made the model sandwiches every visit on his request. My manager knew my thoughts on the guy so she'd make sure we got a chance to discuss his lunch order every visit. Every time he said thank-you and looked directly into my eyes, the girls I worked with would discuss the moment for the rest of our shift. (I know what you're thinking and no, we really didn't have anything better to talk about) But we all shared those experiences with him. If he smiled in any of our general direction, we all took note.

One time the model asked me to clean this one machine so he could fix it, but he talked really fast (Probably got nervous talking to me... right?) and I didn't understand him so I just nodded and smiled until he briefly left to get some more tools. From what I caught off of the conversation I assumed he was going to fix things, then leave for the day, and then I should clean it. That worked perfectly for me because what I didn't want to tell him was that I actually had no clue how to clean the machine.

An hour passes and he awkwardly is hovering near me (serving customers instead of cleaning the machine) until he (musters up the confidence and) comes up to me and says he needs to go soon so if I'm busy he'll just clean it. "Oh!" I say "Sorry- yeah... I just got a rush so I didn't have time..." I tried to pass off.

Guys, it was clearly awkward. I knew all my chances were blown (As if 1. There were chances in the first place and 2. That interaction would be a chance killer), but this opened up the perfect opportunity for confident Julie to arrive. 

See, there's something that happens to me when I realize a guy is far out of my league and I'll never have a chance. I turn into second-half of the movie Mia and will be super honest about how great the guy is... to his face. 

Fast forward to the next time the model visits. Our A/C is broken and he came 3 days in a row upon our call. It kept breaking and no- unfortunately this wasn't my master plan, although in hindsight, confident Julie should have thought about that. 

On the 3rd visit I found my opening. I walked over to where my boss and the model were talking/fixing and I made a casual joke about how often he's had to be called here. "Yeah" he replies (probably too shy to say more around such a confident stunning girl) (ahem- me) "I think I need your number on speed dial incase this keeps breaking!" I say, sure of myself. "haha... nice" he answers. 

I walk back to my side of the store and am content with this interaction, assuming both 1) that he hardly even heard what I said and has already forgotten and 2) that it's all he can think about. He's probably kicking himself for not getting my number (I'd think to myself) and also Thank goodness he didn't actually ask for my number because I don't like dating people I know nothing about and that would ruin the facade of the crush. 

In reality, I thought that was it. 

2 days later his boss comes in to fix something else of ours that was broken. He worked for and with his boss which meant for any visit, either one of them could show up. This time it was just the boss. I had an established friend-type relationship with the boss and after the usual greetings of nice to see you, how have you been, he says "Heard that you think {the model} needs your number!". Both mortified and proud that I was successfully someones story of the day, I reply "What! No.. Maybe.. I didn't hear about that.. hmmm.. well.. I have to get back to work kbyeeeee" and run away as the first-half Mia that I truly am.


  1. I love reading my old journals. Great post! :)

    Cathy // helllo, Cathy

  2. Crushes are very powerful dreamer tools! I would totally read books with these titles. lol Hilarious!


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